I Want It That Way: Letting Go Of Our Customized Jesus

"Tell me why..."Why do we keep trying to make Jesus into something He never claimed to be?

It’s human nature, really. We want what we want, and we want it that way. A Jesus who fits our preferences, our politics, our church culture, our comfort zone. A personalized, curated, just-for-me version of Jesus who never disagrees with us, never confronts us, and always votes the way we do.

But here's the problem: the real Jesus doesn’t work like that.

He doesn’t bend to our expectations. He breaks them. He doesn’t echo our opinions. He challenges them. And most importantly, He doesn't exist to affirm our version of righteousness—He came to transform it.

So let’s talk about why it’s time to let go of the customized Jesus we’ve created… and start following the real One.

Who Argued with Jesus the Most?

Pop quiz: Who pushed back on Jesus the hardest? Who had the most tension with Him?

It wasn’t the sinners. Not the tax collectors. Not the prostitutes. Not even the pagans. It was the religious people. The Pharisees and Sadducees—the ones who were supposed to be closest to God—were the ones who clashed most with Jesus. Why? Because they were too committed to their version of religion to recognize the Son of God standing right in front of them.

Before we roll our eyes at the Pharisees, let’s ask an uncomfortable question: Do we do the same thing?

• When we use Jesus to prop up our political platforms…

• When we weaponize Scripture to shame others instead of offering grace…

• When we turn our personal comfort into a theological conviction…
  

…we’re customizing Jesus to look like us, instead of letting Him reshape us to look like Him.

Customized Jesus vs. Real Jesus

The real Jesus doesn’t fit in a box—or a hashtag. He didn’t come to confirm our opinions. He came to renew our minds.

In Matthew 9:10–13, Jesus is seen eating with tax collectors and sinners. The Pharisees freak out and ask His disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with those people?”

Jesus responds:"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick... I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

In other words: “I didn’t come here to maintain your religious image. I came to heal broken people—and you’re one of them.”

The real Jesus doesn’t exist to make us feel holy. He exists to make us whole.

How to Let Go of Your Customized Jesus

If we want to follow the real Jesus, we have to be willing to let go of the version we’ve built in our own image. Here are three hard but holy ways to start:

1. Immerse Yourself in Scripture—Even the Parts You Don’t Like

The real Jesus is found in the Gospels. But too often, we cherry-pick the verses that match our vibes and skip the ones that challenge our behavior.

For example, in John 8:11, Jesus tells the woman caught in adultery, “Go and sin no more.”  That part gets quoted a lot—usually to shame someone. But what about the part just before it? In John 8:7, Jesus says to her accusers, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.”

Or Matthew 7:1-5:"Do not judge, or you too will be judged... Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own?"

You can’t build a Jesus who only supports your judgments but never confronts your blind spots. If you’re reading Scripture honestly, you won’t just feel affirmed. You’ll feel convicted. And that’s a good thing.

2. Challenge Your Traditions and Religious Biases

Sometimes what we’ve inherited spiritually needs to be unlearned.

I grew up Southern Baptist. My wife grew up Catholic. Let’s just say we each brought a different set of expectations to the table. And like many people, we each had to wrestle with the question: “Do I follow Jesus… or do I follow my tradition’s version of Him?”

Nicodemus had the same struggle in John 3. As a Pharisee, he had all the religious pedigree—but he still came to Jesus at night, full of questions. And Jesus didn’t hand him more rules. He told him to be reborn. To let go of what he thought he knew and start again.

And then there’s Saul. Hardcore religious. Ruthless about it. Until he met the real Jesus—and became Paul, the apostle of grace.

Jesus didn’t say, “Follow the rules.” He said,“follow me.” And if we’re really doing that, we’ll constantly be checking whether our traditions and theology line up with His heart.

3. Focus on What Jesus Is FOR, Not Just What Christians Are Against

Here’s the one that might sting:A lot of people know what Christians are against… but they have no idea what Jesus is for.

A young man once told me, “I don’t really know much about Christians, except they’re against abortion and gay people.” That gutted me. Not because those topics aren’t important. But because he’d never even heard that Jesus is for love, healing, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, and grace. All he saw were the talking points—none of the heart of Christ.

When people think of us, they should think: “Those are the people who love like Jesus.”

Not:“Those are the ones who are mad all the time.”

Yes, Ephesians 6 says to put on the armor of God. But let’s remember: armor is defensive. It’s about standing firm, not going on a rampage. It’s not a license to swing a sword of judgment at everyone who sins differently than we do.

Jesus said in Matthew 11:29,"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart." Not militant and angry. Not loud and right. Gentle. Humble.

So before we march out to fight for Christianity, we need to ask:Are we following the real Jesus… or just fighting for a version of Him we’ve customized to match our ideals?

Letting Go of Our Version for His Vision

Here’s the challenge:

If people know your stance on political issues more than they know your love for Jesus…If they hear your opinions louder than your compassion…If they see your church traditions more clearly than Christ’s transformation in your life…

…it might be time to let go of your version of Jesus.

The real Jesus isn’t an accessory for your worldview. He’s the King of a very different Kingdom. A Kingdom built not on power or pride—but on love, mercy, humility, and grace.

So let’s stop remaking Jesus in our image—and let Him remake us in His.

Let’s not be known for what we’re against.Let’s be known for who we’re becoming—and who we follow.

And may the world say of us, not “I want it that way”… but:“I want that Jesus—the real one.”